Disciplinary professional Elizabeth Burns describes herself as a 30-something woman “who thoroughly enjoys” what she does. Elizabeth offers clients both punitive spankings and spanking role plays in her home town of Phoenix, Ariz., and also travels to other locations across the U.S. (She is not to be confused with a spanking video actress who was briefly using the same name.)
For more information on Elizabeth’s professional spanking services, check out www.elizabethburns.com. For information on Elizabeth’s audio scolding and story clips, visit www.elizabethburnsdd.com.
Thank you for taking time to chat, Elizabeth. You’re such a pleasant conversationalist, it’s hard to believe that you spank grown men for a living.
People tell me that all the time. They’ll say, “You can’t be strict because you’re too nice.” Well, no one ever says that after I’ve spanked them. Just give me a few minutes, and then you’ll see.
When did you first realize that you had an interest in spanking?
Like you and a lot of other people, it’s been with me as long as I can remember. Since the time I was three or four years old, I remember having reoccurring dreams or fantasies about it. Growing up, any time the word “spanking” was mentioned at school, or in the neighborhood, or at the movies, I remember stopping and thinking that everybody must be staring at me, and that I’m the only one who’s fascinated by this.
Any particular example that you can remember?
I remember sitting in the movie theater watching Coal Miner’s Daughter. There’s one little scene where Sissy Spacek gets spanked with a switch, and I remember watching that and thinking that everyone in the theater must be looking at me. That was the first time I ever saw a scene like that in a movie, so it sticks out.
As a young adult, when did you first start exploring your interest in spanking?
That was my purpose for buying a computer back around 1995. I knew that there was information out there and I knew I wasn’t the only one. Before that time, there really weren’t very many outlets or opportunities for me.
What happened when you jumped online?
I read everything I could find. I chatted with people. There was so much information at first, I just tried to read and absorb it all.
Then one night I happened to go into a private chat room and there was somebody else from Arizona in there. We chatted via email for a while and it turned out that he lived less than a mile from me. So that led to the first time that I was ever spanked.
How was that first experience for you?
It was good. If I had thought too much about it ahead of time, I never would have gone through with it. I would have realized what I was doing. (Laughs) But it was very good. He started out slow and over the next month it just kind of continued.
So even though you’re primarily a Top now, you started out on the receiving end?
Growing up, sometimes my fantasies were about me being spanked, but more often they were just about somebody being spanked. They were almost voyeuristic fantasies of me seeing somebody spanked. I guess it just never occurred to me that it would be anyone other than me being spanked once the fantasies became real.
So I started out on the receiving end and did that for four or five years. And then one day somebody said, “If you ever want to try giving a spanking, let me know.” I didn’t really have much interest in Topping before that, but eventually I thought, why not?
It really came fairly naturally. We talked a little first and then I just did what I thought he would want, and what I would want in that position. I put myself into his mindset and did what seemed right. When he got up from over the couch he said, “That can’t be the first time you’ve ever done that.” I just did what I thought made sense.
Have you transitioned into being more of a full-time Top?
Yes and no. I still enjoy receiving on occasion, but always in a more personal relationship.
So when you were strictly bottoming, it probably wasn’t completely fulfilling for you.
That’s true, but I don’t think I ever thought that there was anything missing. If you would have told me at that time, “You’re eventually going to be a full-time Top,” I wouldn’t have believed it. I think it never occurred to me, because most of the female Tops I had ever seen were more the mistress/dominatrix type. I knew that wasn’t me.
Do you think having bottomed makes you a better Top?
I would say most of the really good Tops that I’ve encountered are bottoms as well.
How did you decide to become a professional disciplinarian?
It was
really the people that I was seeing. At one point there were probably four
or five different people that I was spanking fairly regularly, and within
the same month a couple of them said, “Hey, you should do this
professionally. You really have the right personality for it.”
Who is your typical client?
The majority of my clients are men, but I do see women as well. My average client is going to be a 40 to 50 year old male, but I do have younger people who I see, and older people.
How do your services differ from those of a typical dominatrix?
I travel extensively for the purposes of spanking people. That’s what I do; I meet people and I spank them. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard clients say they visited this dominatrix or that mistress and tried to explain what they wanted, and they just didn’t get it.
It’s a very different experience with someone who’s actually into spanking. I’m not wearing leather or carrying a whip. What I offer is very traditional and domestic.
What’s the best way for a potential client to approach you?
The best thing is for them to email me with some basic information, like whether they’re local or in another city, if it’s their first time and they’re nervous about it, and a little bit about what they’re looking for, a discipline type of thing or a role play.
Then I’ll send back more information to them, kind of the basics of what happens, and also a questionnaire that they can fill out. That’s great for some people, because it makes them think about things they haven’t really thought through before. It’s also a good way to open up a dialogue and give me a sense of what they’re really looking for.
I really try to provide a lot of information upfront before we meet so that they can feel comfortable with what the setting’s going to be like, what’s going to happen, and how it’s going to progress. I just try to make them as comfortable as possible because I know it’s something that can be difficult for some people.
I still remember, there was one guy who sat on the edge of the couch, close to the door, and I was afraid he was going to run for it a few times. I was like, “It’s OK. I’m not going to bite. Let’s just sit and talk.”
Do you find that some of your clients are a little embarrassed to discuss their fantasies openly?
Sometimes. I would say they’re more often excited to speak with somebody about this, because they don’t get to very often. And I’m somebody who understands, who listens, and who’s not going to think they’re weird, because I’ve had some of the same feelings and thoughts that they’ve had.
Occasionally there are people who really have a hard time talking about it, so I just try to guide them along, ask questions, and get them to open up a little bit. I talk to them about how long they’ve had these thoughts, what kinds of things they like to look at, or what interests them. A lot of people can pinpoint something specific in their history – maybe something a teacher or a sitter did – that kind of shapes what they’re interested in now.
What role plays are your favorites?
Almost any type of authority figure. The Mother/Son and Aunt/Nephew are probably my favorite.
What are the keys to those types of scenes?
For me, the actual roles that we’re playing don’t necessarily matter. I think the biggest thing is how much the other person is into it. What I find with the Mother/Son and Aunt Nephew -- especially Mother/Son – is that if somebody likes that then they really like it. That’s not one people usually just pick out of the blue.
If somebody can really get into it and not be worried about doing everything exactly right and saying all the right things, if they can just kind of go with it, that’s where it tends to be the most fun for me. So it’s really about their comfort level, and their willingness to relax and go with the flow.
You offer a great scolding audio on www.elizabethburnsdd.com. How important is scolding during a session?
Scolding is vital to a role play. It’s a major component that needs to be there. The spanking itself is definitely part of a session, but everything else that goes with it -- the demeanor, the scolding -- makes all the difference. I think scolding is key.
What other elements do clients like to incorporate into their spanking role plays?
Corner time is a very big one that people ask for. Pulling on the ear. Sometimes a little bit of face slapping, though that’s not as common -- it depends on the person. Mouth soaping is another one that’s popular.
What are your favorite implements?
I have favorites among all the different types. For instance I love my Vermont Country Store hairbrush. It has a good weight and it’s very effective. I also like the longer handle, because I have long nails and it gives me a little more to grip onto when I’m spanking.
I also have one of the Nu-West/Leda hairbrushes and that’s a good one as well. And I have one other hairbrush I’ve been using that’s a little bit lighter for those who like the thought of the hairbrush, but can’t take the intensity.
What else do you really like to use?
Leather straps. I have a couple of lighter short straps that are good to begin with, and I recently got the Domestic Discipline Strap from The London Tanners. I love that strap. I also have a Texas Prison Strap that I really like from Hanson PaddleWerks. And I have a black strap, which I call the punishment strap, from Adam & Gillians. That’s another good one.
Anything else?
I also use household implements, like the rubber spatula. That’s one of my favorites and it’s great for the sit spot area. It gets in there very well.
I also have something called the rice paddle, like you’d see at an Asian food restaurant, but it's industrial size and packs quite a sting. It’s very, very effective.
I probably have about 20 implements that I use pretty regularly, including canes, which I really enjoy.
I know many people fantasize about hard spankings, but then sometimes have second thoughts when they’re actually getting one. How do you determine the intensity of a spanking session?
One of the most difficult things to determine is, how hard is hard? That’s one of those things you have to learn to gauge.
Body language is a big indicator. I’ll typically ask clients beforehand how they’re going to react if the spanking starts to get harder. Often I’ll give them things to say in the role play – if it is a role play -- that will let me know how it’s going. For example, if the spanking is still kind of light, they can act a little more bratty and that tells me I can go harder.
The majority of the time after I give a spanking, people will say, “Wow, you took me just to the right place. I was just to the point where I didn’t think I could take any more.” So I think I have a good sense of that.
Spankings are funny that way. Often a bottom will be receiving a spanking, and a part of them really won’t like the discomfort, but if you stop and pull back, and don’t give them what they need, they can ultimately be very disappointed. Do you find that to be the case?
I agree. The spanking itself is usually not the part that people want, but it’s a necessity. What they want is the buildup and the anticipation beforehand, and then being able to let go, relax and think about it afterwards. That point during, you have to get to the point of almost of not wanting to be there. And if you don’t get it close enough to that point, later on you’re going to be disappointed and wish that I had gone further.
Thank you for your time today Elizabeth. One last question. How can you tell that a scene has been successful?
People just look more relaxed. They’re mellower. Finally, they got what they wanted and it takes away the stress. You can just see it in their face and their eyes. I love that I get to help people realize dreams that they’ve had for so long.
